In part 1 of this series, we considered whether the Old Testament intermarriage prohibition law supports the view that it is a sin for a Christian to marry a non-Christian. The conclusion of part 1 was that it was a weak argument and not very helpful to the discussion. In this article, we examine a New Testament passage that proponents often refer to when justifying their belief in the sinfulness of marrying non-Christians. The passage is 2 Corinthians 6:14, where Paul says,‘Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be my people.” Therefore “Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.”’(NKJV).
When I read this passage, I understand why many Christians conclude that marrying a non-Christian is sinful. At first glance and without considering the surrounding context, it can seem to indicate that. The phrase “unequally yoked”, admittedly, at face value, could suggest that entering a relationship with someone who does not share the same belief in Christ is spiritually dangerous and opposed to God. Yet when you take the time to study the passage, you soon realise that marriage isn’t mentioned, nor is it under consideration. That said, many would suggest that the basic principle of this passage can be applied to marriage. I would agree with that if I believed Paul was referring to keeping a safe distance from unbelievers and avoiding a general partnership with them. However, such a notion is absurd. Firstly, Jesus not only left heaven to come to live amongst sinful humans, but He also spent time with them. He socialised with them. He developed relationships with them. And, He also ate with them, which is a universal sign of fellowship (Luke 15:1-2, 1 Corinthians 5:11). Even the apostle Paul in his earlier letter to the Corinthians recognised that avoiding unbelievers or a relationship with them was impossible (1 Corinthians 5:9-11). Secondly, if God were against having partnerships or friendships with non-Christians, you couldn’t rent or buy a house from a non-Christian because it involves a contract. You couldn’t work for a company that Christians didn’t run because you would be yoked in a work agreement with them. You couldn’t have non-Christian business partners. Also, how could you have any close relationship with your family members who are not Christians? You would have to avoid them. So, for me, it doesn’t make sense that when Paul speaks of being unequally yoked, he means avoiding relationships or partnerships with non-Christians.
It makes much more sense of the entire section if you understand that Paul is referring to agreeing or participating of sin. In other words, don’t endorse or join in the sin of worldly people. As a Christian, you have no right to participate in sinful activities or support the false philosophies held by those not in Christ because we are called to a higher standard. In fact, in Ephesians 5:3-7, Paul says that the Christians are not to be partners in the sinful and deceitful activities of others (Particularly note verse 7). I believe that Paul, in this passage, is expressing the same view as he does in 2 Corinthians 6.
In 2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1, it is pretty clear that it is sinfulness and the endorsement of sin in unbelievers that Paul wants the Corinthians to avoid. Notice the ways that Paul makes references to sin in this passage, “wickedness”, “darkness”, Belial (describes someone who personifies evil, as such likely refers to Satan), idolatry, uncleanliness, that which contaminates body and soul. These contrast with righteousness and other references to righteousness such as: “light”, “Christ”, “the temple of God”, purity, “holiness”, and “reverence for God”. Paul is not using the term unequally yoked about a relationship with an unbeliever but about agreeing and participating in the sins of unbelievers. I hope you can see that there is a difference. Let me give you a couple of examples. I can be in a business relationship with a non-Christian. Yet the moment I find out they are planning to do something unethical, against the law, or contrary to God, I need to separate myself from that behaviour and give it no endorsement. Similarly, I can be married to a non-Christian, but the moment they want me to lie on their behalf, join them in their drunkenness, or believe their atheistic ideals, as a Christian, I need to say no. Otherwise, I would be unequally yoked to their sin and pulled away from God.
But what if an unbeliever seeks to do good and help others. Would it be wrong to endorse that? Would it be evil to yoke myself to that activity? Of course not! Those activities would not mean we are unequally yoked because they are aligned with the way of Christ. If I were to paraphrase Paul’s comments in 2 Corinthians 6:14 in consideration of the context, I would say, “Do not be unequally yoked together in the sin of unbelievers”, and in verse 15, “What do the godly behaviours of believers have in common with the ungodly behaviours of unbelievers”.
What all this means is that it is entirely possible to marry an unbeliever and remain separate, holy and faithful to God. If that was not so, then marrying or even staying married to an unbeliever would be a sin. Yet, from 1 Corinthians 7 and 1 Peter 3:1-6, it is clear that it is possible to remain married to a non-Christian and please God.
So, let us put this understanding in context and ask why is Paul saying this to the Corinthians? He says this because the Corinthians have opened themselves to deceivers and false teachers. People who are opposed to the true gospel and opposed to the apostolic authority of the apostle Paul. From 2 Corinthians chapter 1 to chapter 13, Paul writes hoping the Corinthians would fully accept his divine appointment as apostle and, therefore, his message about Jesus for the sake of their spiritual wellbeing. Instead, unfortunately, he found himself competing for the attention and hearts of the Corinthians because they were allowing deceitful teachers who weren’t concerned for their spiritual welfare to influence them. In 2 Corinthians 11:3, Pauls says, ‘But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough. But I do not think I am in the least inferior to those “super-apostles,” I may not be a trained speaker, but I do have knowledge. We have made this perfectly clear to you in every way.’
With this in mind and coming back to chapter 6, we can read that Paul is desperately seeking the attention and acceptance of the Corinthians not for himself but for their salvation. He writes in chapter 6:11, “We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange – I speak as to my children, open wide your hearts also”. In chapter 7:2, Paul again makes a similar comment bookending the section on being unequally yoked by saying, “Make room for us in your hearts. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have exploited no one”.
Considering the context, we can see that Paul is telling the Corinthians not to agree or participate in the evil behaviours and teachings of those who oppose him. These people don’t care for them and will lead them away from Jesus. So instead, they should open their hearts to Paul and yoke themselves to his teachings and way of life because these things will not harm them, corrupt them or abuse them.
So, does Paul’s reference to being unequally yoked suggest that it is sinful to marry a non-Christian? I do not believe it does. Paul, in this context, is not talking about marriage or, for that matter, relationships in general. Instead, he is speaking regarding being coupled to the false teachings, deceitfulness, and sin often purposefully pursued by those who do not genuinely follow Jesus Christ and therefore becoming participants in their sin.
