In part 3 of this series, I want to look at two verses from the New Testment also often referred to in making a case against marrying non-Christians. These are 1 Corinthians 9:5 and 1 Corinthians 7:39.
At first glance, 1 Corinthians 9:5 does seem like a strong argument in favour of the position against marrying non-Christians. In discussing his rights as an apostle and, according to most translations, Paul asks the rhetorical question, “Do we not have the right to take along a believing wife”. The more literal translation which the Old King James Version leans towards is “Have we not power(authority) to lead about a sister, a wife (woman), as well as the other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas”. Where most translations get the idea of “believing” from is the word “sister”. They interpret that to mean someone who is a spiritual sister and therefore a Christian (Matthew 12:46-50), and so they suggest that what Paul is referring to in this passage was a sister in the Lord who is a wife. Admittedly, since most translations interpret the phrase “a sister, a wife (or a woman)” to mean a wife who is Christian, I am cautious about taking it to mean anything else. That said, Marg Mowczko (2014) makes an interesting case that suggests Paul, in this passage, is not referring to a believing wife but instead co-workers who were female. In other words, Paul could be saying, “Don’t I have the right to take with me a spiritual sister, a woman.” For more information on this position, check out Marg Mowczko’s article on this subject at https://margmowczko.com.
I also wonder if it could be possible to interpret Paul’s statement as “don’t I have the right to take a sister (Literal or spiritual) or a wife to help me in my work” (Paul had a sister who may have been a Christian and did also work alongside Christian women. (Acts 23:16, Romans 16:1-16, Philippians 4:2-3).
Even concluding that Paul is speaking of a Christian wife, is it reasonable to assume that it is a sin to marry a non-Christian from this passage? I would be very cautious in seeking to make such an assertion. First of all, Paul is not addressing the question of who Christians can marry. Marriage isn’t even part of the discussion. Instead, Paul is making a defence to people critical of his apostleship and ministry and he is arguing that as an apostle, he has the same rights as any other apostle and gospel worker – even if he chooses not to claim those rights. If you read Paul’s comments closely, you will see that Paul is arguing about his right to take a Christian wife with him in his travels and to work alongside him in ministry. Of course, if you are going to take your wife on a mission trip, it makes sense that she would be a Christian.
So, does 1 Corinthians 9:5 support the view that it is a sin for Christians to marry a non-Christian? I don’t believe it does because Paul is not addressing whether or not he has the right to marry but his right to take with him a wife who can work alongside him in his missionary endeavours.
1 Corinthians 7:39 is another passage used in support of marrying Christians only. But again, the passage isn’t as clear-cut as we might think. Paul, in this passage, says, “A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord”.
The phrase “only in the Lord” certainly may indicate that Paul expected widows who wished to marry to only marry Christians. However, does it have to mean that? What if Paul had not put “only in the Lord” in 1 Corinthians 7:39 and said that a widow is “free to be married to whom she wishes”? Would that not imply she could marry someone who was already married? Could she marry someone who had been divorced but not for adultery? (Matthew 19:1-12). If we take the phrase “in the Lord” as someone who is a Christian, could that mean that a widow could marry a married person as long as they are Christian? You see, “only in the Lord” is not a great criterion if it refers to marrying Christians only. However, if “only in the Lord” means according to the will of the Lord (or the way of the Lord), it is an invaluable guideline. It means a widow is free to marry anyone as long as the marriage is within the will of Jesus (Ephesians 5:17). This then would restrict widows from marrying someone who is already married or who isn’t compliant with the grounds for divorced and remarriage based on Matthew 19:1-12.
Understanding “in the Lord” to mean according to the will of Jesus aligns with Ephesians 6:1 and 6:10. In Ephesians 6:1, Children are to obey their “parents in the Lord”. That is, they are to obey them because it is fitting for someone seeking to please Jesus. However, no one would expect a child to obey their parents if their parents were asking them to do something contrary to the will of Jesus. Children are not only to obey their parents as a duty towards Christ but in a way that also fits within the boundaries of His will.
In Ephesians 6:10, Christians must be “strong in the Lord and in his mighty power”. Being strong in the Lord involves trusting Jesus, but it also means living in obedience to His will. Part of that will is putting on the Lord’s armour (Ephesians 6:11-18).
It, therefore, seems much more reasonable and valuable to interpret “in the Lord” in 1 Corinthians 7:39 along the same lines as Ephesians 6:1 & Ephesians 6:10 as referring to the will of Jesus. In other words, widows are free to marry anyone as long as the marriage, not the person, is in within the bounds of scripture.
In conclusion, I would suggest that 1 Corinthians 9:5 and 1 Corinthians 7:39 do not necessarily support a ban on Christians marrying unbelievers.
In addition, although I believe it is a wonderful experience to be married to a Christian and to with someone on the same spiritual journey as myself, I do not believe it is necessarily wrong to be married to an unbeliever. Neither does marrying an unbeliever mean you can’t have a thriving marriage and a thriving spiritual life. I know of people happily married to unbelievers who respect their faith and give them the freedom to be not only be a Christian, but to raise their children as one as well. I also know of Christians who married unbelievers who eventually won their spouses over to faith. Although I wouldn’t recommend going into marriage with an unbeliever with high expectations of them converting to Christ, it does happen. In these cases, I wonder would their spouses have become believers had they not married them.
Finally, I want to say that the ultimate point of this series is to encourage you to be mindful to examine your views regularly and to study the Bible carefully so that you don’t end up shaming people needlessly by binding on them something Jesus never did.
Further Reading
Kercheville., B. (2006). In 1 Corinthians 7:39 widows are told to marry “only in the Lord”. https://westpalmbeachchurchofchrist.com/…/only_in_the…
Miller., D. (2001). “Be not unequally yoked”. https://apologeticspress.org/be-not-unequally-yoked-431/
Mowczko., M. (2014). Believing Wives and Female Co-workers of the Apostles. https://margmowczko.com/believing-wives-female-co…/ I don’t necessarily agree or support Marg in all her views, but she does provide good food for thought at times.
