Text: Ruth
Most of us fear losing people we care about, especially in tragic circumstances. Yet even for Christians, we often find ourselves dealing with it. We have recently been reminded of this truth amongst the church here in Australia. Yet once tragedy is upon us, how do we find the ability to move forward when every thought and step is painful. Despite how difficult it can be, the Bible gives us hope that it is possible. For example, when reading the book of Ruth, we learn about a woman named Naomi who experienced great tragedy and grief in her life. Yet slowly but surely, with the help of God and Ruth, her daughter-in-law, she began to work her way through pain and discover a new purpose for living beyond her terrible circumstances. That doesn’t mean she was able to forget about the past. However, she was able to move forward. So, what can we learn about Naomi and the journey towards healing from tragedy?
1. Permit yourself to feel sad, bitter and even angry.
In the aftermath of tragedy and loss, we can find ourselves overcome with a whole range of emotions. It is easy to feel guilty about these emotions or attempt to suppress them somehow. However, either of these responses to intense emotions is unhelpful. In the book of Ruth, we find Naomi so overcome with such feelings at the loss of her husband and children that she changed her same to Mara – meaning bitter (Ruth 1:11-21). Interestingly, you never see God condemn Naomi in the Bible for being sad or even bitter. Nor do you find God punishing Job or the writers of Psalms for expressing these kinds of emotions. In the face of tragedy and sudden loss, sadness, bitterness, and anger can all be part of the grieving process. Years ago, I visited a man who had lost his wife to an illness. He told me that he felt angry with God for a time. He said he couldn’t understand why God would allow such a beautiful person to suffer like that. This man then told me that one afternoon he was struggling and went for a walk. While walking, he passed by a local church with the doors open. He went in and began chatting to the minister and told him about his anger towards God. After listening to this man, the minister responded by saying that God has big shoulders and can handle your anger. The friend who had lost his wife told me, “Once I knew it was ok to feel angry towards God, I didn’t need to be angry anymore”. Of course, it’s important to respect God. However, in the face of tragedy and loss, God understands that sometimes we will experience many raw emotions and may even feel angry towards Him. However, as long as you keep seeking Him, He will not abandon you and will continue to love you despite these emotions. So, when sadness, bitterness and anger fill your life due to tragedy, show kindness to yourself and permit yourself to experience them.
2. Return to a place where God can care for you the most.
When tragedy first strikes, it can leave us in a state of shock. Along with the overwhelming grief, some may need to withdraw and isolate themselves in this state. There is nothing wrong with this. However, isolating ourselves away from others can become unhealthy at some point. It can also hinder God’s efforts to bless you and care for you. With nothing left for her in the land of Moab, Naomi decides to return to Israel and her people. That was one of the best choices Naomi could have made, given the circumstances. By returning to Israel, she was back amongst a community that held similar values to her, where there existed family members and, most importantly, where the True God was worshipped and obeyed. In this community, she was in a position where God could begin to provide for her and bring healing providentially. One of the ways God ended up blessing her was by using Boaz, a relative and a man of God. After the initial shock that comes from tragedy, there comes a time when you need to position yourself where God can care for you the most. Today, one such place is among members of God’s church.
3. Enable others to support you and care for you.
One of the greatest blessings to Naomi was her daughter-in-law, Ruth. If it wasn’t for Ruth’s determination to be with Naomi and follow her back to Israel, Naomi might well have continued to have handled her grief on her own (Ruth 1:8-18). Thankfully, Naomi eventually relented and allowed Ruth to return to Israel. This decision changed Naomi’s life. Ruth became her greatest help in an hour of need. She proved herself a faithful companion, but Ruth also worked hard to support them. In every way, Ruth became a blessing to Naomi and greatly assisted her in slowly moving on with life. All of us need the support and care of others at times. So, don’t be afraid to let people demonstrate love for you.
4. Once again, concern yourself with the well-being of others.
Although Ruth cared greatly for Naomi, Naomi also showed great care for Ruth. She allowed Ruth to work and ensured she stayed working in a field where she would be the safest (Ruth 2:22-23). Later, to ensure the ongoing care and well-being of Ruth (3:1-2), Naomi advised her about how to best approach Boaz so that it would lead to marriage (Chapter 3-4). Naomi’s care for Ruth eventually led to her being married and becoming someone through whom the promised Messiah would come.As Naomi cares for Ruth, we see that her bitterness slowly wanes, and a new purpose for living begins to take over. The book of Ruth ends with the women of Israel praising God for leading Naomi to a renewed life and rejoicing in the birth of her grandson.Final Thought:Recovering from tragedy is not easy. You may never fully move on. However, by permitting yourself to experience whatever emotions emerge, by positioning yourself amongst God’s people, by allowing others to care for you and by beginning to care for others, you can eventually find strength and a new purpose for living.
