There is something instinctive within most parents that makes them care deeply for their children. There is a special bond that often goes beyond explanation. Of course, that bond sometimes expands beyond children of natural birth and exists towards those children we have adopted, fostered or taken under our guardianship.
As far as we can tell, the apostle Paul had no biological children. However, that doesn’t mean he wasn’t a parent. Through Paul’s writings, it is clear that Paul considered both Timothy and Titus more than co-workers. To Paul, they were his sons. That is why in his letters to Timothy and Titus, he addresses them as his “true” children in the faith (1 Timothy 1:2, Titus 1:4). When Paul writes this to these young men, you don’t get the impression that he is simply acknowledging them as Christians. No, when Paul writes this, along with all that he says to Timothy and Titus, you sense the closeness of Paul’s relationship with them and his affection for them as his spiritual children. Children who shared a “common faith” with him (Titus 1:4).
Paul genuinely cared for these young men. He travelled with them, worked with them, shared his life with them, and had mentored them in their Christianity and ministry. So, although Paul mentions his apostleship when he writes to Timothy and Titus (2 Timothy 1:1 and Titus 1:1), he was not just exerting authority over these men. He also wanted them to listen to him as his spiritual children.
We all need spiritual parents like Paul, who can support us in our spiritual journey. That said, at some point, we also need to become like Paul and be able to mentor and guide others to maturity. Thankfully, we can learn from Paul’s relationship with Timothy and Titus how to do this with younger people, new Christians and with those who lack maturity.
So what can we learn from Paul about spiritual parenting and mentoring others?
1. Be a genuine follower of Jesus.
Paul practised what he preached. He not only taught Christ but was so committed to Him that he was willing to follow Him even if it caused him suffering (2 Timothy 1:8-12). Paul knew that to be a saving influence on others, he needed to pay attention to his own walk with Christ. He also taught Timothy to do the same. That’s why he tells Timothy to “Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.” (1 Timothy 4:16). Because the Apostle Paul was a genuine follower of Christ, his entire life provided an opportunity for people to learn about Jesus.
2. Be someone who studies the word.
You can never teach and mentor others if you don’t know God’s word. Paul knew God’s word and was fit to be a spiritual parent. In 2 Timothy 1:13, he writes, “What you have heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus.” In 2 Timothy 2:15, Paul further says to Timothy, “And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others”.
Knowing it was time for Timothy to mentor others, Paul tells Timothy, “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and correctly handles the word of Truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15)
3. Be willing to open up your life as an example to others.
In our current age, you can enrol in various online courses. And admittedly, there are some advantages to learning via this format. That said, one thing that these courses cannot provide is embodied learning. I have often learnt more about Christianity from witnessing it in the lives of friends, parents and mentors than just reading it from the pages of a book. When I attended the Macquarie School of Biblical Studies, it wasn’t just the words coming out of my teacher’s mouths that impacted me but their experience of living out God’s word throughout many years. This embodied learning was exhibited in these teachers through their character, personality, wisdom, wit and care for us as students. Even today, I still looked to these people as examples of faith and am often encouraged by the relationship I formed with them. Sometimes, I still bother them with questions.
Mentors are not only great students of God’s word, but they consistently seek to live out God’s word in front of others, particularly those they are mentoring. Paul did this with Timothy and Titus, which is why Paul says to Timothy, “You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, persecutions, sufferings-what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions endured.” For Titus to be a great mentor for the young men on the Island of Crete, Paul commands him, “In everything set them (the young men) an example by doing what is good. In your teaching, show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned.” (Titus 2:7-8).
4. Invest time in people.
It’s hard to imagine that Timothy and Titus would have become faithful and effective evangelists for Jesus had Paul not taken them under his wing and invested time in training them. In Acts 16:1-5 we read that Paul meets Timothy in Lystra (Turkey) and takes him on his missionary journeys. Titus travelled with Paul and worked alongside him in Jerusalem, Macedonia, Greece, Crete and Dalmatia. During all this time together, Paul was investing in a relationship with these young men, taking the time to teach them, to share his life with them and to allow them to participate in the work of the Lord.
5. Be willing to give them responsibilities.
My niece just turned 18. It’s an exciting time for her in her life. She is now an adult and, as an adult, is being granted the responsibilities of an adult. Part of her growing responsibilities is receiving her licence. Sure, she still lives at home and can always lean on her parents if she is struggling. But a part of her growing up is learning to step out on her own and not have to be constantly monitored by her parents. Her parents’ main task now is to let their daughter take on more and more responsibility for her life.
Paul as a spiritual parent had done his job. He had taken Timothy and Titus under his wings and demonstrated genuine Christianity to them. He had also proven himself faithful to God’s word and had set an example of Christian living for Titus and Timothy. Interestingly, when we read Paul’s letters to Timothy and Titus, he isn’t with them – hence the need to write to them. Why? Because they had reached a point of maturity where he could send them off to take on specific responsibilities. Sometimes major responsibilities. Sure, Paul, while alive, was still going to guide them, remind them and encourage them, but he wasn’t a helicopter parent. He was willing to hand over responsibilities to these young men so they could continue to mature and be effective for God. As we mentor young, new or immature Christians, I suggest that as they grow, we ensure we provide them opportunities to take on roles without constant oversight. Let them learn to function and do ministry as spiritual adults. Sure, we can continue to counsel and support them, but at some point, they will need to step up, take our baton and then learn to mentor others.
Conclusion:
Paul provides us with a wonderful example of how to mentor young, new or immature Christians:
1. He ensured that he was a genuine follower of Christ.
2. He knew God’s word and, therefore, could pass that along faithfully.
3. He modelled the Christian life.
4. He invested his time in training others.
5. And, he was a wise spiritual parent who provided people with ever-increasing responsibilities.
