Kindness is essential to fostering a sense of belong withing congregations.
The concept of family is fascinating and worthy of study. Not only do families directly impact us, but they are one of the most significant contributors to societies and communities worldwide.
Within families, our physical, emotional, mental and social needs can be satisfied, and we learn to develop relational skills, helpful values and useful concepts that can allow us to participate productively in the world. Of course, most families are imperfect in this fallen world, and some can be highly dysfunctional. Some family environments can even be abusive and lead to neglect. But, interestingly, even in dysfunctional families, there can be a strong sense of loyalty. Although relationships may be distant or tumultuous, many families tend to rally around each other when push comes to shove. This loyalty, deep connection and sense of togetherness make the notion of families powerful.
In saying this, the original concept of family doesn’t come from humans; It comes from God. It, therefore, shouldn’t surprise us that God has a family. This family consists of all those who are with Him in heaven, but also all on earth who come to Him through Jesus Christ (Ephesian 3:14). That’s why Paul in Galatians 3:26-29 says of Christians, “You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of your who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.”
In Colossians 1:12, Paul says “giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light”.
By becoming a Christian, we are born again into God’s family and become related to one another. We are therefore joined together by the same spiritual Father and through the blood of Jesus. Ever heard the saying that blood is thicker than water? When it comes to God’s family, nothing is thicker than the blood of Jesus that connects us together. And although we may still struggle at times with each other and experience anger, hurt, and disagreement, at the end of the day, we need to remember we are still family. That means that no matter how we feel about each other, we are obligated to our Heavenly Father to obey Him and treat each other according to His standards and practices.
In Colossians 3:12-14, the apostle Paul lists some of these standards and practices. He writes, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity”.
I love how this section begins with the state of these Christians in Christ. First, Pauls tells them that they are chosen, holy and loved. That is, they are valued, set apart and in a relationship with God. Based on this state, Paul then lists several qualities and behaviours that should flow from that spiritual situation. Each of these, when actively implemented, helps each member of God’s family grow in a sense of belonging and in relationship to each other.
The behaviour that I particularly want to focus on in this article and the next is the kindness. But what is kindness? In one sense, the definition of kindness seems obvious, but when you see that term next to other qualities such as goodness, love and compassion, you might be left thinking, don’t they all mean the same thing? For instance, how does kindness differ from love? Don’t they suggest the same meaning?
One thing I enjoy about languages, particular some of the alternatives to English, is their ability to be nuanced and, therefore, specific. Sometimes we need specifics to make better applications.
So let me first define the main form of love in the Bible (agape), as a decision to consider and do what is in the best interest of other people. Since it is a decision, it is something that can cause us to do what is necessary to help someone, independent of whether we want to, have feelings of affection for the other, or whether or not it causes temporal pain in someone. That is why Jesus can command you to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). Furthermore, even though it can initially hurt, providing consequences, saying no, and speaking plain truth can be considered acts of love.
Suppose this is an accurate understanding of Biblical love (agape). That means this type of love is comprehensive and covers many different thoughts and behaviours (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
When you think about qualities and behaviours such as compassion, gentleness, patience and kindness, we can define them as specific applications or effects of love. For instance, compassion is deep sympathy and empathy for someone and their situation, but it happens as a result of a decision to care about the well-being of another (agape love). Gentleness is the willingness to hold back and show restraint for the sake for the good of others. So that brings us to kindness. What is kindness? It is the specific actions of love to demonstrate care for another. If someone is thirsty and needs water, the decision to care for their well-being would lead to the kind action of providing that water. Now, I should add that it is not just the action that defines kindness but the way the action is delivered. Is the action delivered in a friendly and caring way? It is possible to demonstrate care for another but deliver that care harshly or in a perfunctory manner. For instance, a support worker in an aged care facility may do their job and meet basic needs but be uncaring and mean. So, kindness is specific actions or words that not only meet the needs of others but are performed in a way that is friendly, considerate, and appropriate. So as many have rightly said, kindness is love in action.
In God’s family, kindness helps build a sense of belonging and connection because it ensures that the needs of each other are met. Furthermore, since it is a family of all types of people, nations, and upbringings, it allows us to lean across cultural and social boundaries allowing each to feel accepted by the other.
Final Thought:
Being a member of God’s family is a wonderful privilege. However, like all relationships, how we treat each other can either enhance our connection and enjoyment of one another or it can destroy it. One of the behaviours that can enhance relationships within God’s family is kindness. So, for this reason, let us make an effort to be kind to one another.
